Eureka! I’m getting old(er)!
Okay, so I know it’s not much of a revelation. But seriously, it is amazing how things change over time. I suspect that sudden change is rare….it’s more likely that change occurs gradually. It’s just that we don’t often see/realize/understand it in the moment. And then the moment passes.
That said, I’m happy to say that for the first time, I finally understand the ill-effects of my over-obsessive attitude, especially with regards to work. I know it’s about time I realized it.
What inspired this – you ask? If I had to point to just one thing – I suppose key credit would have to go to my grandma. I was chatting with her last week and I was telling her how I felt badly about my underacheivement. She replied that I need to learn self-appreciation – comparing where I’ve been to where I am now rather than comparing against other people. It was profound for me to hear this from my grandma for some reason.
It seems silly. After all the effort I’ve put into building and developing my own self-approval system according to “modern” ideals…I was a pretty baffled myself to realize that I still covet approval from others.
I wonder why that is. Why do I care?
I suppose it doesn’t matter. But I am glad at least to know this now. It’s either something I’m going to need to work on or something that I’m going to have to learn to accept and work around. Half the battle is knowing where you stand, after all.
So now, I’ve decided I’m going to stop obsessing/comparing/stressing….at least about work. If everything happens for a reason, I am sure I am exactly where I need to be right now. So I might as well learn to appreciate the current experience until the next opportunity comes along. Savour – is the key word!